Friday, April 30, 2010

Diary of a single kinkster: The first exercise

One of the horrible things about being honest with myself and keeping up with the original intents of this blog and podcast is that I have to be honest with you, my readers, as well.

So I decided to pull out the exercise video and give it a shot to see just how out of shape that I truly am and much to my dismay, I made through two of the exercises before I stopped.

I am not surprised by this.

Does this mean that I am giving this up? Oh hell no. If anything this right here proves to me how much I need this video and everything that it represents. The last time I had sex, I thought I was some hot shit. I was wrong. She didn’t have to say anything to me, in fact she said quite the opposite, but if I’m this far out of good shape then I would assume that my performance was lacking a little something for her.

My goal for this video is to make it through the entire regime of exercises in one sitting and still be functional afterwards and not have to pause the thing once.

I realize that I am not going to be able to do this tomorrow. I also understand that I want to find somebody to do this with me if because I am going to be in so much pain then I want to share that misery with somebody.

In a related topic; I know a lot of military guys, I used to game a lot and only here recently quit that dangerous habit.

Gaming is like a drug only there are no campaigns against it anymore, and you can’t do it alone unless you have a lot of expensive equipment.

I walked into the old gaming store where I used to hang out and I saw some of my old friends of whom I used to game with and was appalled by how much some of them had let themselves go. I stopped hanging out with them six months ago, and my military friends have gained all the weight that I have been losing. They’re like swelled up balloon versions of the people I used to know.

I don’t blame gaming it self. I blame the fact that exercise isn’t promoted in such a way as to make people want to do it more often.

Just to give a round about idea of where I’m at in my progress; here are my stats at the beginning of this new exercise regime.

Height: 6’2”

Weight: 274 lbs. (I carry it well and this is where it was the last time I was at the doctors.)

Girth: I wear a 42 in pants.

Diet: salads, nuts, oatmeal, water, chicken, and the occasional breakdown of the diet in the form of a pizza slice or a burger. Not to mention the healthy choice frozen dinners.

I have been doing this diet for the past few months because I needed to lose the weight for reasons above and beyond the “I want to look good naked and have her call my name when she orgasms for years to come” reasons.

I’ll see about arranging for a ‘before’ image to be made to show the state of affairs as they stand

with my body and see about posting progress pictures as well.

Now, I want to stress that I am aware that this exercise is not going to be the end all an

swer to all my dating issues. I’m laying the foundation for the sex I plan to be having and right now the county inspector has found reasons to deny the permits. During this process I shall continue with my other efforts to make myself over and become more attractive to the opposite sex.

Diary of a single kinkster: The Podcast

I did it. I recorded my first podcast, edited the hell out of it and got it posted up.

Podcasting a little more difficult than I imagined, but easier than I feared. Mostly I wrote out something of a script that I could follow along and then I listened to the play back, attempted to weed out all the small verbal mistakes I made and then made some music to go with it.

I've made some progress today. I've found my exercise program that I shall begin using on a regular schedule starting monday. The hope is to get up early enough in the morning and do the exercises before I go to work. More than likely at night after I get home. I know I'm out of shape cardiovascularly speaking, but my strength is still up there. I just need to work on the stamina and the core.

So I shall be doing the entire program to get into the shape I want to be in to have the kind of sex I want to have.

If I get a partner that is interested in exercising with me, all the better.

I would like to find a second host for the podcast. Have a conversation about dating and relationships instead of me just talking about it.

Diary of a single kinkster: Fitness program

Oh hell yeah.

I am getting this video and I am going to use it.

I would go so far as to put a link for this think as an advertisement if they would pay me.

Once I get my copy I'll post my progress with this as well.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Diary of a single kinkster: Podcasting?

So I am trying my hand at podcasting as well as blogging in an effort to really focus my efforts in my endeavor of dating. I am running into the same issue that all podcasters undoubtedly run into initially in their podcasting career; I hate the sound of my own voice.

Maybe I'm being over critical of my self (I am), but I hear all the flaws in my voice and voice patterns.

Don't get excited yet, there are no podcasts yet. I'm still working on the first one and if I can ever muscle my way through it without making a mistake, then I'll get it up there.

I do find it amazing that doing a blog and podcast are remarkably similiar except that with a blog the writing can be forgiven a little, but with the podcast, you can come off sounding pretty bad if the writing is poor.

Right now I'm just practicing the flirting at work during my breaks. I haven't been out to meet anybody yet at any of the hot spots. Hot spots: where to go to meet women interested in dating; examples include the bar, night club, mixers, or events.

So once I've given myself and my home a once over with the intent to romanticize them both, then I shall go to where the women are.

In the meantime I shall continue to do as I have done and flirt with any and all women who come my way as a method of practicing.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Diary of a single kinkster: How to Succeed with Women Book Review and Action plan.

Almost ten years ago, when I was still feeling just out of high school and still fumbling my way around women in general, I had a couple of really good friends that worked in a porn store.

One day I’m just hanging out with them when I find a book on the back shelf that just doesn’t seem to belong. For one, there are no images, no pictures of naked women, just a really thick book with a plain black cover with the words How to succeed with women on the cover.

This was and is the holy grail of how to interact on a romantic level with women. This is the missing manual that all men should get when they are just turning of age and they are ready to ask their crush on their first date. I credit whatever success I have had with women at the feet of this book.

I would like to say that, even today, I still practice what is taught in that book, but I can’t. I am in need of a refresher course and with that in mind I shall take you along with me for the ride.

Now, as a note, I am not going to go through the entire book with you, nor will I share any of the ultimate secrets within the book. I bought my book just like anybody else, and so should you. Support the authors.

The refresher course is going to be relatively simple and for the most part I’m going to keep it that way. I’ll talk about some of the habits of a successful seducer and their suggestions on how to date. I will give generic comparisons to what they say I should be doing and what the reality is.

The intent of this book is to make the reader successful with women. The authors recognize that this usually means, for men, having a lot of sex with several different partners. That is perfectly fine. My end goal is to find a partner, not several of them, but I’m open to that possibility.

The book breaks down the entire dating process into several parts and examines what makes up a successful seducer of women and provides the tools and technologies for men to make that connection to a woman and convince her that he is damn sexy.

Would you believe that confidence is the key? That seems to be a common theme in all the dating materials I have ever read. Even beyond that; but just the ability to walk away from a potential prospect and making life work for you is part of the confidence.

The basic formula is to flirt, to go on an informational short priming date, then a real date, the proceed from there. The priming date is short but packed with questions that you’ll use to create the mood of the next date. What’s her favorite flowers, music, restaurant, etc. and then you build a date up from there. Be ready for anything, especially if your date isn’t ready for the night to end once dinner is over.

I have met with success in the past with such a model, sometimes it got me a kiss, and other times it got me much more than what I was aiming for

Since we are only dating right now and looking for the one that may be as kinky as I am, right now I’m only vanilla dating.

I feel I must clarify myself with the fetlife issue and why I’m not going to be doing any hunting around there or on any other bdsm / kinky sex site for my kinky girl when that is what those sites are for.

There are a few reasons, the main one is a matter of concentration; there aren’t enough single kinky girls who are aware of their kinky desires in my area to decide to go online and declare their kinky nature in the search of a single male partner. Those that are single and fit my parameters have all been hit with the deluge of hook up requests from every man from here to Canada all wanting the same thing; sex.

So when I come along and try to make that meaningful connection that says: “you’re not just a whore to me, you’re worth getting to know and spending time with so that we both may find what we’re looking for”, they’re on guard and looking for any reason to not trust me. Why should one guy be any different from the rest of the assholes that just want to use them and leave them?

Now, this isn’t always the case. There have been times when I would find a girl who’s temperament suits mine and we get along and would possibly be a passionate couple that epic stories are written about… except that they’re just too far for me to make that trip on short notice.

The final word is that I’m not going to go hunting around on fetlife for my kinky girl. If she were to find me on there, then I wouldn’t fight it.

In closing; if you’re a guy, go buy this book: How to succeed with women. Especially if you’re having issues dating.

Volunteers to copyedit my posts would be greatly appreciated.

Monday, April 26, 2010

The flirt log 1

Name; redhead with labria
When: 4/26/10
Met at: work in the smoke area.
What I did: confirmed lack of ring, said hello and introduced myself. Spoke with about work, how long she had been there and segwayed to her piercings which led into her age, 22. Asked her to guess my age, she guessed 21, which brought up 'John', her fiancé. Flirting promptly abandoned.
Why flirt with her: she was cute, alone, and not on the phone.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

Diary of a Single Kinkster 1.3

I've created a Fetlife profile. Single_Kinkster

Fetlife is a free social site, much like MySpace or Facebook, except that it is explicitly for kinky minded people. For the most part it is an excellent site filled with wonderful people and lots of advice and support.

However; I shall not be using it in my search for my kinky girl.

Why not?

I've already had my fair share of meeting people from this site and having it go south, so instead of meeting people there first, I shall endeavor to meet them first before looking them up on Fetlife.

I (heart) FetLife: BDSM & Fetish Community for Kinksters, by kinksters

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Diary of a Single Kinkster 1.0

I'm just a single, kinky guy looking for his kinky girl.

I'm starting this blog as a means to document my attempts to find what I'm looking for and to refine my techniques as a dating kinky man in America today.

Just what am I looking for?

Before I answer that question, allow me to say what I'm not looking for first; I am not looking to just have sex with as many random strangers as possible. I am looking for a partner who is as kinky as I am. Who wants to try new and interesting things with an erotic twist.

I'm clean, I don't do drugs, and I practice safer sexual practices.

The format I'm going to take with this blog is to first identify what I need to do to meet and attract new and interesting people into my life and what I'm currently doing that is not making that happen. I will find books, websites, and other resources and practice what they preach and see which one produces the desired results when I use their advice.

I will document the progress of my flirting and relationships.

I will go out and document, vaguely, where I go and who I meet, who I flirt with and how it turns out. I will not give out any personal details, and I will get photos if I'm able.

I will also give some of my insights into the process as I progress and succeed and fail in my search for my kinky girl.

My basis for the relationship would be Trust, Respect, and Communication. And kinky sex.

Who is my kinky girl?

I don't know. I don't know what she'll look like, where I'll meet her, or even if I'll meet her. I just know that I'm looking for her.