Almost ten years ago, when I was still feeling just out of high school and still fumbling my way around women in general, I had a couple of really good friends that worked in a porn store.
One day I’m just hanging out with them when I find a book on the back shelf that just doesn’t seem to belong. For one, there are no images, no pictures of naked women, just a really thick book with a plain black cover with the words How to succeed with women on the cover.
This was and is the holy grail of how to interact on a romantic level with women. This is the missing manual that all men should get when they are just turning of age and they are ready to ask their crush on their first date. I credit whatever success I have had with women at the feet of this book.
I would like to say that, even today, I still practice what is taught in that book, but I can’t. I am in need of a refresher course and with that in mind I shall take you along with me for the ride.
Now, as a note, I am not going to go through the entire book with you, nor will I share any of the ultimate secrets within the book. I bought my book just like anybody else, and so should you. Support the authors.
The refresher course is going to be relatively simple and for the most part I’m going to keep it that way. I’ll talk about some of the habits of a successful seducer and their suggestions on how to date. I will give generic comparisons to what they say I should be doing and what the reality is.
The intent of this book is to make the reader successful with women. The authors recognize that this usually means, for men, having a lot of sex with several different partners. That is perfectly fine. My end goal is to find a partner, not several of them, but I’m open to that possibility.
The book breaks down the entire dating process into several parts and examines what makes up a successful seducer of women and provides the tools and technologies for men to make that connection to a woman and convince her that he is damn sexy.
Would you believe that confidence is the key? That seems to be a common theme in all the dating materials I have ever read. Even beyond that; but just the ability to walk away from a potential prospect and making life work for you is part of the confidence.
The basic formula is to flirt, to go on an informational short priming date, then a real date, the proceed from there. The priming date is short but packed with questions that you’ll use to create the mood of the next date. What’s her favorite flowers, music, restaurant, etc. and then you build a date up from there. Be ready for anything, especially if your date isn’t ready for the night to end once dinner is over.
I have met with success in the past with such a model, sometimes it got me a kiss, and other times it got me much more than what I was aiming for
Since we are only dating right now and looking for the one that may be as kinky as I am, right now I’m only vanilla dating.
I feel I must clarify myself with the fetlife issue and why I’m not going to be doing any hunting around there or on any other bdsm / kinky sex site for my kinky girl when that is what those sites are for.
There are a few reasons, the main one is a matter of concentration; there aren’t enough single kinky girls who are aware of their kinky desires in my area to decide to go online and declare their kinky nature in the search of a single male partner. Those that are single and fit my parameters have all been hit with the deluge of hook up requests from every man from here to Canada all wanting the same thing; sex.
So when I come along and try to make that meaningful connection that says: “you’re not just a whore to me, you’re worth getting to know and spending time with so that we both may find what we’re looking for”, they’re on guard and looking for any reason to not trust me. Why should one guy be any different from the rest of the assholes that just want to use them and leave them?
Now, this isn’t always the case. There have been times when I would find a girl who’s temperament suits mine and we get along and would possibly be a passionate couple that epic stories are written about… except that they’re just too far for me to make that trip on short notice.
The final word is that I’m not going to go hunting around on fetlife for my kinky girl. If she were to find me on there, then I wouldn’t fight it.
In closing; if you’re a guy, go buy this book: How to succeed with women. Especially if you’re having issues dating.
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