Of all the lessons in life that I was taught growing up by my parents, by television, and by books, the worst lesson was that I needed somebody else in my life to be happy.
That's a lie. In fact, it's such a harmful lesson that I attribute it to the number of desperate single people in the world today. You can be happy all by your lonesome, or rather, you don't need a romantic partner to be happy.
When you go out looking for a romantic partner, the thing you don't want to do is pin the whole of your happiness to them being with you. What you do want to do is to attain your happiness from other sources.
So let's explore this a little. If you aren't satisfied with your life as it is right now, getting a romantic partner involved will not solve all of you emotional woes; in fact, it may even make you unhappier in the long run.
Identify what about your life that needs to change in order for you to find satisfaction.
Let me clarify: I'm not saying don't go looking for romantic partners, just don't go looking for your happiness with them. Look to share your happiness and satisfaction in life with them, not for them to provide it to you.
Think about it like this: you find somebody who looks to you for their happiness...It's a nice thought until you don't meet an expectation, or the happiness doesn't come and they're left with the thought that they'll be happier with somebody else.
Get a hobby, find a better job, move away from the family, try new things, get a pet, etc. Do something to give your life substance so that when you do find a romantic partner, they find a life worth joining.
The key to this statement is that they are joining in your happiness, not providing it to you.
What am I doing to provide myself with my own satisfaction? I'm writing, I do photography, I organize groups and community events in the kinky community, I have friends that I can turn to for company, and my family.
What do you have?
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