Happiness? Validation? WTF is this?

So, despite my better judgment, I’m talking to a girl I met on fetlife. I didn’t go out looking for this girl, but rather she came out and pursued me. She’s cute and attractive and lives so far away that I couldn’t see myself making the trip anytime soon to see her.

There are some other factors I have to consider about the relationship, I’m not one for a long-distance relationship as they never seem to work for me. So I’m making it clear to her that we’re just talking right now and if something happens between us then excellent.

Does this mean I'm going to stop with my blogging and my continued effort to test out these dating techniques? Nope. We just met and we're just talking. The understanding is that because there is so much landscape between me and her that if something else comes up and it is more local, then go ahead and pursue it. Too many variables to be pinning all your hopes and dreams on somebody you meet online anyway.

Today is the day that I do the exercises again. I’m going to change it so that I do some stretching before I hit play this time, limber up a bit before I wear myself out.

Being single and kinky is not easy. There are all these things that I want to do that I just can’t do without a second person. Over the years, I’ve collected an impressive amount of toys and they’ve done an excellent job of collecting dust and eating up space in my closet for the past few years.

Recently I’ve expanded the collection a bit to include a couple of metal butt plugs with the jewels on them and an anal hook. Maybe I can start a website with this base? Others have with less. Any cute girls want to be tied up and violated for fun and photography? Doesn’t pay much in the beginning but will pay off big in the long run. Any takers?

I saw my father today. We had just seen each other a few days ago.

His first comment to me was that it looked as if I was starting to lose some inches. Tightening up as it were. If I had needed a boost to tell me that the exercises were a good move, then that was it.

I did the exercises again this morning, so now I'm really sore. It's still in the realm of good pain, but it does hurt.

People tend to laugh when I tell them about this new exercise program, but I have to say that I love the simplicity of it. The gimmick of this video is that it promises to make you better in bed, that is a promise I can live with.

I've gone to the library today to do a little bit of research into my chosen topic of dating and relationships. I picked up a handful of books on the subject and in each one they go into how I should find validation for my life from my life and not from the elusive “her.”

The reasoning for this bit of advice is solid and I'll admit to having forgotten this lesson once or twice, but if you aren't happy with your life, then who in their right mind is going to want to share their life with you?

Not to mention that if you have all your happiness pinned on the shoulders of some girl, then you're going to come off as desperate and needy. Being either of those things is like using gasoline to put a fire out, just doesn't work.

Find happiness outside of who you are wanting to date. So what makes me happy?

* going out and photographing people.

* hanging out with friends

* reading a good book

* teaching

* experiencing new things

* playing on photoshop

* getting people together

* video games

* watching movies

* writing

* exercising

* being a leader

* being involved

* learning new things

* being able to not worry about money

* being the best at something

Of course what really makes me happy is sex, but that requires a partner so I'm leaving that off the list for the moment.

I forgot this lesson once, pinned all my happiness on the idea of me and this girl being together and she did the appropriate thing and got the hell away from me and found some other guy. To that I say awesome.

She did the right thing.

Be willing and able to walk away and be sure to make it clear that no matter what she does, you are going to be having a good time. It would be to her benefit to join you but with or without her, your life will not stop on her dime.

Think about it. I'm out for the day, putting out resumes and hitting on businesses so I can make the money to pay for the dates.